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But what respect?

Written by Alessia schiava di Djablo.

An enthusiast tells me : The bdsm teaches respect ! I personally agree , but I see far from the current reality where there are dominant dominant improvised just to make it weird. Or that claim the respect you speak without showing or having to comply precisely ideas different from yours . Or even, where behind phrases such as: " everyone does as he believes " or " I have nothing to prove " hide all their insecurities. What then remains misunderstood or unknown to them , it becomes fairly extreme, their extreme attention. In fact impossible to identify exactly the spot where the extreme being very subjective and personal thing . Gambling saying that the extreme begins exactly where they begin the personal fears.

As in all disciplines , even bdsm then there are scales of values ​​. Differences were no longer valid on who to get bigger abuses misnomers . Not recognizing these scales of values ​​means to be detached from reality . A little ' as if that asserissimo a rather bad or poorly done is comparable to the work of a famous painter. Are both square , but on the scale of values ​​different one is a "masterpiece" and one is a "crust" . Define " slave " who sets limits too low ( for convenience or fear) and imposes certain dominant to stop and utterly wrong . In my opinion it would be more correct and appropriate to define these subjects " submissive " ( subject / s) which does not take away anything of what they really are. Lately, even those who limit themselves only to lick a foot fetishist calls itself rather than slave , putting on the same level of those who practice something more daring .

Paradoxical also those who , pass me the term , is behind SSC or Healthy safe consensual . But let me get a non-consensual BDSM as it might be, since it would no longer be pure violence bdsm but not in any way relatable to those who practice it with passion. Healthy ? Licking a shoe, a dirty foot is healthy ? Welcoming urine or semen in the mouth is healthy ? I quote about the most common practices , just to understand the contradictions. It remains safe . That certainly can not have anything as no one can predict the incident . Therefore easy to criticize or judge those who practice differently. Even a kind of peremptory judgment often falls on those who by choice decides to practice rack , or those who are aware and willing to accept risky practices and therefore dangerous . Some people wrongly defines violence as if the fact that they put a definite limit to its submission. Perhaps trying to understand the real reasons , which for example may be the search for greater pathos , adrenaline or even the psychological factor of not just limit their Dominant, you can get to understand who dares to say and says : I do not put any limit .

Sentence does not mean that if analyzed properly to have no limits but rather to place himself in a manner so as to understand the submissive to want to overcome anyway. And all this violence? Or rather a total offering to those who dominates ? To you draw the right conclusions on this reflection. Owning a pair of boots , a whip of nylon, some clip for drying clothes or wrap a person with the chain of flushing the toilet ...

It is not a bdsm comparable to that provided for by those who use mostly mental levers . Not recognizing a scale of values ​​, or levels means not using reason and this is dangerous , unhealthy and not at all consensual . How should be respected by those who approach it with pleasure, you have to respect also practice different things in his own way , for the longest time and for his pleasure . Observe an idea contrary to our own , but with sustained passion is a sign of maturity. See where the offense is not there, say if my thesis bother I go, react insulting , avoid confrontation appear as undemocratic attitudes and lack of respect towards your partners .

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